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How to Stop Repeating the Same Relationship Mistakes

By: Kristina Murr

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Relationships are complicated, and we aren’t perfect. It’s very possible that the reason why your relationships never work out is because you keep making the same mistakes over and over. You’re not the only one who does this, of course. It’s happened to plenty of people, and it will continue happening because we’re only human. We make mistakes.

But being human also means we can stop making them. We can change. It won’t be easy, but if you want to stop repeating the same mistakes you always make in your relationships, you can. It just takes time, effort, and some practice.

Your Past Relationships

The first step is to find out what your dating patterns are. You can’t prevent yourself from making a specific mistake if you don’t know what it is, right? This will be painful for many, but looking back at your past relationships and figuring out what mistakes you made is the first step. You have to identify those mistakes.

This only works if you’re honest with yourself. Otherwise, you will never spot those mistakes. It’s hard, but this is the best way to ensure your future relationships won’t be doomed in the same way your previous ones were.

Of course, this is far from easy. If you’re honest with yourself but you still can’t find any mistakes you might’ve made, talk to a trusted friend, one who’s been with you through everything. They can help you figure out exactly what mistakes you’ve been repeating over and over. There’s nothing better than a good honest friend who wants to help you.

What You Control

The most important thing to remember when it comes to change is that you can’t change what other people do. You can’t control their actions or their words. You can only control your own. So, forget about everyone else for a minute. What can you do to change your situation? Is there any mistake you notice you keep making? How can you stop making them? What are your options?

If you focus on yourself rather than what you’d like others to do, you’ll find it much easier to change things for the better. Target only what you can control, and leave everyone else to take responsibility for their actions.

Start Slow

As much as we’d like it to, change doesn’t happen overnight. This can be discouraging. In your worst moments, you may think you’re entirely incapable of change, that you’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over and never be happy. But that’s not true. You can change. You can be happy. It just won’t happen right away.

Keep this in mind as you move forward. Take small steps, make small changes every day. Take things as slow as you need to and you’ll see. You’ll get there in the end. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you will.

Just make sure not to rush into another relationship. It can be tempting, especially if you meet a good person, or if you just simply hate being alone. It will hurt more than it will help in the long run. Besides, being alone doesn’t have to be so bad.


This is the perfect opportunity to get to know yourself better. People usually get lost in relationships, especially if the relationship isn’t healthy. If you’ve lost your sense of self and don’t know who you are anymore, this is the best time to find out.

If you need help at any point, consider seeking a counselor. Our job is to help you with these things, especially if introspection is something that doesn’t come easy to you. But in order to help you, you need to reach out first. It won’t be a waste of your time.

If you are looking for a dating counselor near you, you can reach us by, email at hello@awakencounseling.com or call us at 678-310-0358.

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