Social anxiety is more than shyness. Its symptoms include intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected in social situations. This type of anxiety often stems from underlying insecurities and low self-esteem. While it’s natural to feel nervous before a big presentation or meeting new people, social anxiety creates discomfort in situations that don’t typically warrant such high stress levels.
Here are a few practical strategies for overcoming social anxiety.
Challenge your negative thoughts
One of the driving forces behind social anxiety is negative self-talk. Thoughts like, “Everyone will think I’m awkward,” or, “I’ll embarrass myself and ruin everything,” can spiral out of control and make your anxiety worse. To counteract this, try identifying and questioning these thoughts. Ask yourself:
- Do I have real evidence to support this fear?
- What’s the worst that could realistically happen, and how would I handle it?
- Am I catastrophizing, or is this situation not as serious as it seems?
Try replacing these thoughts with more balanced ones, like:
- “Even if I make a small mistake, it’s not the end of the world.
- “Everybody feels nervous and gets embarrassed sometimes.”
- “Most people are not scrutinizing me as much as I think they are.”
Try gradual exposure
Avoiding social situations is a surefire way to reinforce your social anxiety. By doing this, your brain learns that isolating yourself is a way to stay safe, which eventually makes it harder to venture into new situations. Facing your fears in small, manageable steps through gradual exposure can help diminish this anxiety.
Start with low-stakes situations, like saying “hello” to a stranger or making a comment in a group chat. Gradually move toward more challenging scenarios, like initiating a conversation at a party or speaking up in a meeting.
Focus on the present moment
Many people with social anxiety excessively self-monitor and worry about how others perceive them. You might feel hyper-aware of your every word, gesture, or expression, which can make interactions with other people feel even more stressful. Grounding techniques can help shift your focus back to the present. Try:
- Taking a few deep breaths to calm your nervous system.
- Observing your surroundings and noting three things you can see, hear, or feel.
- Actively listening to what others are saying rather than rehearsing what you’ll say next.
- Take breaks by stepping outside or away from the social situation for a few minutes to compose yourself.
Prepare, but don’t over-prepare
While it’s helpful to think about what you’ll say in certain situations, over-preparing can backfire. If things go wrong, you might be even more upset that reality didn’t match up to what you’d planned. Instead of rehearsing every possible outcome, focus on being adaptable.
Be ready to just be yourself—that’s what people want to get to know. Remember that most conversations flow naturally and don’t require a script.
Take care of yourself in the long-term
Managing social anxiety isn’t just about navigating specific situations; it’s also about taking care of your mind and body overall. Practices like regular exercise, mindfulness meditation, and adequate sleep can reduce your everyday stress levels, which make it easier to face social challenges.
Try finding physical and creative outlets for your stress, like journaling, yoga, or a new hobby.
Do you struggle with social anxiety?
If you’ve been avoiding social situations and have a hard time functioning when you’re in public, consider seeking Social Anxiety Therapy. A therapist can help you get to the root causes of your anxiety, build your self-esteem, and give you personalized strategies for coping in a healthy way. Contact us today to develop a treatment plan for your social anxiety.
